Unburied

The dreams ... which were buried under what had became a plateau of fears, disappointments and frustrations, she cud hear them cry from the deep ... she was amazing ... Gave me wut I had never gotten once they started to be put under the sand ... she gave me courage ... to realize ... that they r still alive and finally broke me whn I started to hear them cry silently inside ... like they were waiting for their father to come and rescue ... and I was ....... I was like ina coma, a social, spiritual, sensual coma. I had faked my smiles so much that I had forgotten the real use of em ... I had faked being happy so much that I had started to believe that I was happy, or maybe I didnt even care about happy. I had lied the same lie everyday, for everyone that I had forgotten that it was a lie ... and even had settled myself for it being the truth. Maybe not even realizing the possibility of truth as whole.

She was reintroducing me with the truth, the colors, which I hesitantly but in a while with her unrestrainable, penetrating smile that went just in to awake something every time which had died before so long ago that there weren't even footsteps left, I did. Somehow ..... I did. It was yesterday when I was laughing, I realized that I was actually laughing .. and it was actually a laughter after a "long time" .... I could even feel the flow of time ... and it didnt feel like I hadnt laughed before .. I had I rmmbred now ... and it wasnt very long ago ... I rmmbred having a gud time ... laughing out loud ... no pretentious social necessity ... that night after so long ... I actually cried because of that laughter. I actually felt the need of someone to talk to. It was like coming back from an island where I was left alone after years.

All the feelings I cud feel again ... were hurtful but it was gud to have them back ... running away from hurt, had brought me to run away from happiness along with it. I finally could understand the importance of facing the reality and not concealing emotions under "strength" which I thought it was. But I didnt feel like a coward anymore, she had her hand in mine, and I was ready to face everything, even my life. How all the hurt turned into a beautiful life again ... I donno how she did that. She was beautiful ... I could see it ... she really was ... I could recognise beauty again ... I could again want something and it wasnt something I was surely gonna have, it was just a mere want, not relating to any kind of possibility, it was a pure want. I could again dream something, most amazingly, I dug out the dreams that night which I had buried long ago so I wuldnt have to see them again. They were still as young, as powerful when I touched em and looked as possible as it was to dream ..... again.